a guiltless twisted lie

whew. .
do you ever feelin' sore?
sore is painful. .
n0t a pain that we've felt in physic. .
but it's a mind sore. .
it looks like a mind pressure. .
very annoying me. .
alt0ugh, i d0nt kn0w what i've think bout, .
it just like. .
there's s0mething, but i d0nt know, .


haah, it's better if i feel the pain in s0mepart of my body. .



cause this sore. .
can't be healed . . .

I feel the salty waves come in
I feel them crash against my skin
And I smile as I respire because I know they'll never win
There's a haze above my TV
That changes everything I see
And maybe if I continue watching
I'll lose the traits that worry me

Can we fast-forward to go down on me?
Stop there and let me correct it
I wanna live a life from a new perspective
You come along because I love your face
And I'll admire your expensive taste
And who cares divine intervention
I wanna be praised from a new perspective
But leaving now would be a good idea
So catch me up on getting out of here
(Can we fast-forward to go down on me?)

Taking everything for granted but we still respect the time
We move along with some new passion knowing everything is fine
And I would wait and watch the hours fall in a hundred separate lines
But I regain repose and wonder how I ended up inside

Can we fast-forward to go down on me?
Stop there and let me correct it
I wanna live a life from a new perspective
You come along because I love your face
And I'll admire your expensive taste
And who cares divine intervention
I wanna be praised from a new perspective
But leaving now would be a good idea
So catch me up on getting out of here
(Can we fast-forward to you go down on me?)

More to the point, I need to show
How much I can come and go
Other plans fell through
And put a heavy load on you
I know there's no more that need be said
When I'm inching through your bed
Take a look around instead and watch me go

Stop there and let me correct it
I wanna live a life from a new perspective
You come along because I love your face
And I'll admire your expensive taste
And who cares divine intervention
I wanna be praised from a new perspective
But leaving now would be a good idea
So catch me up on getting out of here

It's not fair, just let me perfect it
Don't wanna live a life that was comprehensive
'Cause seeing clear would be a bad idea
Now catch me up on getting out of here
So catch me up I'm getting out of here

aw, speechless by looking the changes of everything in everypart in the world. .
n0t only the teenagers, the adult, the children, the climate, the tempreature, all of the living things. . getting suck everyday . .

life has it own way people !
my own philosophy : EVERYTHING WHAT YOU'VE GOT IS THE RESULT OF EVERYTHING THAT YOU'VE DONE IN THE PAST. .
read this one, and understand the meaning. .
it's n0t only for me, but for everyone.[i ever wrote this one to s0meone, hopefully she isn't ign0re that one, cause i think what have you done today and the following days before have a wr0ng tittle, i'll choose 0ne the best : REGRET. i think that's the right tittle]


lets continues. .
i'll ask you some questions . .
do you think our earth in the past have the same situation like n0w ?
do you think your life today is better than yesterday ?[well maybe only s0me people d0n't feel the same]
do you think that life's getting w0rse ?

but, do you ever think how can it be happen ?

well, its just s0mething in the past. .

this earth, have a beautifull past i think. .
but n0t my life. .
everything's getting worse day by day. .
i d0nt kn0w what will happen in my future. .






i just walk
away from this mess cause i feel loathe of misery. .



have n0 one beside of : thats my regret cause i've choose wr0ng way before. .
i'm so sorry that i've wasting you on that time. .
im so sorry till n0w. .
i admit that i've choose wr0ng answers on that time. .
im just afraid that cant make you happy with me. .

again, regret for s0mething in the past.
no i w0nt regret. !!
cause regret is for s0meone that have n0 responsible for everything what have they d0ne . .



again: well, thats just s0mething in the past. .

damn it !
lagi lagi gara-gara "back button"
fuck this cell phone !!
the important thing that i've kn0w if the secrets have been revealed. .
but actually its n0t a secret. .
just "something hidden"

i'll wait for your an0ther fucking sentences. .
refer to : something in the past . .

hari ini :
berharap akan menjadi hari yang indah seperti kmaren. .
tapi spertinya roda sudah mulai berputar kebawah. .
jadi hari ini ngga sebagus kmaren. .
berikut recab.nya. .
hal yg menurut anda bagus hari ini? [disebutkan lebih dulu karna lebih sdikit. .
mm, apa ya. .
first, oprasi emes bhasil. .
sec0nd, uda knalan nii ama sela, yeah !
third, apa yo? banyak bronis d ruma perlu d syukuri juga kali ye?
fourth, still breathin' till n0w ! alhamdulillah, .
wes, seingat saya cuma itu saja, mohon maap apabila ada yg terlewatkan . .

now, lets continues . .
buat hal yg kurang beruntung. .
first, had0h hermin makin menjadi-jadi saja ya. .
sec0nd, karetnya hetset ilang satu, haa!
third,plajaran akun jadi membuat saya ngantug . .
fourth, waa, mbak yg kmaren udah pulang ternyata ! ga bisa cuci mata wes. .
fifth, mau k terrace tp gada tmen.e, pas njemput iis malah gk iso utem, yowes ngbrol" d rumanya saja. .
sixth, waktu di rumanya iis ada anak geje yang sms geje ngajak knalan geje dan bicaranya menggeje, kesimpulan buat anda : anda geje skali ya? kalo mau knalan yg niat saja, pulsa saya limit oke?
seventh, wes nyampe ruma, uda siap dgn sgelas vanilla latte dan lks beserta peralatan lengkap akuntansi, mau ngerjain pe.er tapi ternyata tadi blm nyatet soalnya, dobol !!
eighth, he sel where'd you go? i missed u so, sms kok gk d bls, tlpn gk diangkat, please c0meback home. . [jahahaha, sakarepe dw]
nineth, vanilla latte udah jadi, bingung mau ngapain kalo uda ga ngantug gni, suddenly pengen buka fb, eh akhirnya tergoda juga, melihat status history mantan yg semakin hari semakin menyebalkan saja, sori, bukan saya benci anda, tapi anda tukang gosip yang sangat menyebalkan dan mengganggu, sumpah tingkah laku anda very bothering me, coba kalo anda diam saja, pasti everything's g0nna be okay, and maybe masi ada ksempatan buat kyk dulu lagi. . [maap saya ceplas ceplos, tapi kalo anda membaca ini dan sadar, saya harap anda introspeksi dan berubah, dan juga jangan sok asik ! you d0n't know me anymore, i'm n0t the same kid fr0m your memory. .]

ahh, membahas mantan yg satu ini bikin emosi saja. .
enough lah. .

dan untuk penutupan hari ini ditutup oleh tegukan terakhir vanilla latte. .
makasi buat kehangatan yg anda berikan, hahaha. .
okay, thats all bout today, c u next time. .
take good care of yourself. .

I'm still frustrated from last night
Things happened at half-time, I'm sick of the bends
My panic research was no help
I sink into myself
Afraid of the fall that never ends
I wait, but I'm too tired to play pretend
I suffocate until the end

No time for halfhearted goodbyes,
I turn on the spotlight and flee from the scene
Cheap flights from Paris to Bangkok, I thought it was nonstop
Can't sleep on the KLM again
I haunt the halls of medicine at night
Choking back the urge to fight

Her cat was clawing the floorboards just outside of our door,
The panic begins
I searched the whole damn apartment from ceiling to carpet
No sign of the things she used to own
As autumn turns its back on me again
I climb the walls for oxygen

My body aches, it heaves, it shakes
All summer sounds so caught up
And I still don't know exactly who I am
I never will, amen.

She whispers something in my ear, the message is unclear
She motions outside.
I trail her closely from behind
She tries hard not to cry
She shakes underneath the pouring rain

I can't compete with all your damn ideas
This isn't working out for you and me
The truth is I'm too tired to play pretend

This is goodbye, this is the end.

you. .
you don't know how does it feels . .
and you'll never know. .


you just successfully make me abhorencce . .
make me feel despise . .


it's all enough. .
it's enough you hurt me like this. .
even you do this indirectly. .
but it successfully killing me inside. .


its like, someone stab you, hit directly into your heart. .

love is like a quicksilver in the hand..
leave your fingers open and it stays..
clutch and it darts away..

ah, i just want blame everything that i felt, for once again. .


amarah, . .
sesuatu yang kita rasakan saat kita merasa sangat tidak nyaman dengan perlakuan seseorang atau hal lain yg dapat membuat kita marah. .
but at this moment, i've felt anger. .
anger that caused by s0meone. .
do you know how to erase this feeling ?
i want to know how. .
cause i . .
feeling empty. . .


emosi or em0tion. .
it can be defined as how do we feel at the m0ment. .
it can be, happy, sad, fun, satisfied, angry, etc . .
ah, it was so damnfull day for me. .
everything i've d0ne just like a mess in front of them. .
just nothing !
can you feel that??
have you ever feel like that before?


hate, .
i hate everybody right now. !
cause i have nobody to share my life, my story, my everything. .
does it sounds selfish huh?
but it looks better now. .
could you fix me up?
is there anyone could do that for me?
but i d0nt think so. .
cause there are nobody want to spend their minutes to listen. .
to feel like anyone else. .
and help them to solve their problem. .
is there anyone that still care for the others ?

i doubt it. .